I know how it feels to be determined to achieve a goal. How it feels to struggle with making a decision that you hope will change your life, change your perspective and feelings. Hoping that it will wipe the slate clean, bleach that stain and cover that darkness. I know the strength and courage that you have to build up to make such a decision. It’s a piece of work; a concoction of fear accompanied with no trust and a tint of doubt. Continue reading “I am held Captive”
Hey there future love, I have been waiting for so long. It has been ages since I met you. You were there even before I knew what love was. You were there when I grew up and got confused in this world. Continue reading “Musings of my dreams”
Hey there, this is for you. A broken heart and a disappointed soul. You who has lost all hope in believing, trusting and loving. You gave out your love and it got tossed and played with like a tennis ball. You gave out your feelings and it was taken for granted. It was used like an engine, ignited and switched off when the user felt like. You gave out your heart and it got torn like a barbed wire on flesh.Just like blood, your trust and love oozed out of your heart. That’s when you started regretting.
I have been living in my own world, rather trapped in it. I have hated every bit of it. I can’t do, say or act in a certain manner just because there is this cloud looming over every decision that I make. It follows me as if to be a constant reminder that I will get hurt. As it goes round my head, it leaves this ‘you can’t handle what comes next’ kind of thoughts. And all of a sudden, my very well thought ideas and plans come crashing like a glass on the ceramic floor. The crashing sound leaves me weak and questioning my existence, my purpose and what I stand for. Continue reading “Am done being Afraid”
A lot of times you get so wrapped up your feelings that you forget what you are getting yourself into. At times you get so overwhelmed with the moment that you end up signing without reading the last clause. You say yes to his proposal just to make him stop talking because he’s making your head go round. You say ‘I love you too’ so you can get your hands on that precious opportunity that you’ve been eyeing. You end up in a relationship while you were trying to run away from loneliness. You get stuck with someone your friends pushed you to. Continue reading “What it means to love someone”
Welcome to life, life and love or love life. It has no manual or procedure, no training or practice, nothing. In this life, there are so many examples, people with experience, but somehow you always think that yours will be better. No matter how much your are advised, you always believe that maybe you can do something they never did. What you forget, no, what you don’t know is that we all learn the same lessons in life the only difference is in our experiences. Continue reading “Dear young and naive”
You’ve probably heard about the saying, “no man’s an island” once or twice or couple of times in your life.It may sound cliche’ but am gonna use it anyway.It advocates for connection with people, working with people and being part of a community. It means that no man can live alone and survive alone without the help of other men. That we all need each other, which is pretty much true.
But for the years that I have lived, I have learnt that at some point in your life you will have to stop, leave everything and walk on a lone path. At some point you will have to stand alone no matter how much dependent you had been. That you will have to figure out your own lane and risk it alone. That at some point you will have to live like an island.
For how long will you stick with hypocritical people you call friends who are out to drag you down? How long will you stick to people who are happy as long as you are on the same level with them? People who laugh with you in good times and leave without a word in bad times? But wait they don’t leave, they stand at a distance and start to laugh at you.
At that point you will realise all the advices they gave you had a shade of their selfish interests. That the people you called friends smiled at you while they hid their disdain for you at the edges of their smiles. That you naively trusted them and had tagged along with them without knowing how much they were trying to avoid you.
The thing is that, at that time you wouldn’t even notice how much they are trying until time passes and a third party informs you. Then you will be crashed and shocked beyond believing. You will then be confused on how to live because you have been so dependent on your fake friends.
When that time comes my dear, don’t be afraid to be an island. Live like an island that stands in the middle of an ocean with no hope of a hand stretched out to hold it as the ocean washes away its sand. An island that nurtures its fruits and trees till it produces beautiful flowers and sweet fruits all in its solace. Even though it is in the middle of now where, someone notices its beauty and soon it gets alot of visitors. In its raw beauty, a tourist finds it and appreciates it.
So listen, you’ve got to stop trying so hard to fit in a place that no one wants you. Stop trying to make your life all about staying relevant in people’s life. Stop trying to create a conversation to an uninterested party. Stop pushing so hard and beating yourself up over relationships that seem to evade you. You’ve got to learn that at some point you have to loose all for you to start all over again.
Be that island that works in solace and in silence. Channel your effort in projects that build you as a person. Build yourself an empire from the little ideas they told you, were bad. Build your courage and learn to be yourself and in the end as a tourist visits an island, friends will come. One by one you will meet them and amidst that you will find people who appreciate you.